We discussed how confidence can be defined as the ability to take appropriate and effective action despite any fears and anxieties which might exist. Tolerance of that anxiety, as well as a freedom from identification with the outcome, are what separates truly confident people from those less confident. If you judge yourself positively for the effort you've made, and for going for it, it's somehow less scary to take action than if you judge yourself positively only when outcomes are perfectly as you desire.
For those who couldn't make it along to the workshop, here are some simple actions that you can integrate into your daily life to help boost your own confidence.
- Use an app like Happier on your smartphone or keep a gratitude journal to give yourself credit for what you did today. Being grateful for what we have creates a feeling of being lucky and fortunate, which in turn, help you feel more confident about trying new things
- Find some uplifting music to play before you leave home, or on your way to activities when you need to feel fully confident. I love the song Summerblink by the Cocteau Twins for the lyrics "I'm accepting myself as I really am", "I'm doing a fine job", and I hope you like it (youtube video below). The soaring sounds of Sigur Ros' Hoppipolla were a hit on Saturday.
- Treat yourself. Why not check out my inspiration page and buy one of the books I've recommended. Or, just give yourself time to take a bubble bath, or do something else for yourself. Because you're worth it. Confidence starts by accepting that.
- Create some confidence affirmations and make time to say them to yourself regularly. (You'll find books on this topic on the inspiration page if you need more information.
- Get some exercise. Whether it's 5 minutes of insane dancing to your favourite upbeat track in the comfort of your own living room, or taking a regular country-side walk, anything that gets your blood pumping and raises your heart rate will boost the hormones that help you feel confident. And you may even find that longer term, the physical changes that happen as a result of exercise make you feel more confident too.
We came up with many more on the day. And I'm sure the participants created meaningful, personal actions too. Why not take the time to create your own confidence action plan and start working on it today.