I've been neglecting this blog of late and for this I am sorry. I know that one of the things that makes me happy is healing, helping and inspiring the confidence of others.
In my own way, I've been working with bringing digital confidence to others, even inspiring an 86 year old woman to take up blogging. That was a high point of last month.


One thing I have continued to observe since my last blog is how much we hold ourselves back, for achieving our dreams, by the force of our own negative thoughts.

I've been reading and re-reading some of the classics of self improvement literature the last few weeks, but it is another blog archive post that has had me running to the key pad.

Please read this:
http://beyoumediagroup.com/2013/09/07/how-to-get-flat-abs-have-amazing-sex-and-rule-the-world-in-8-easy-steps/

Do it now.

For if I have learned anything while working with others on their confidence, it's that happiness and confidence go hand in hand. They are mutually inclusive, and each helps the other to exist.

Be confident, my friends, and remember to follow www.facebook.com/ConfidenceWithin for daily inspiration.
​Be Happy.

Feeling confident comes from many places, but there's a lot to be said for building a skill set.

I cannot recall who supposedly said that greatness is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, but they had a point.

Working with myself and with many others, I've realised that it's far easier to feel confident in something when we have learned, practiced and begin to let our authentic selves shine.

So never stop studying, reading, trying new things, practicing, and growing.
Lack of confidence saps your belief and willingness to experiment. But trying new things, conversely gives you richer experience and more to build on.

Look for inspiration wherever you are. Can you find someone who has something to say on your subject that you can learn from?

Here are a few tips on public speaking that may help you. https://www.facebook.com/businessinsider/videos/10153710650269071/
Please let me know what's been inspiring you lately.

I recently started working with a young lady from Wales. Though away from home all week in business, she'd taken to the habit of buying something for dinner that she could eat in her hotel room.

I was reminded of all the times I went on business trips and had to eat alone. Yes, it can be hard the first time. Saying "I can't" was not going to be an effective long term solution, though.

So the challenge was set. Go out tonight, on your own, and eat dinner. Out. In a restaurant. No shrinking back to the hotel room.

Sometimes you have to just do these things. There are no shortcuts.

Today, I received a "high five" as one very proud woman conquered her fear of "looking odd" and dined out, alone.

A couple of weeks ago, I spent a few days in Budapest. I traveled alone and though I saw friends there, I spent a lot of time on my own. Had I not dined out alone, the whole experience would have been far less fun.
In 5 days, I had 4 quality restaurant meals alone. For the first one, I allowed myself a prop - my Kindle book, "Budapest Breakfast Club" kept me entertained.

On the final day, I did have a little qualm about going back to my favourite restaurant. "What will they think of me?" I wondered.
In the end, knowing it would be at least a year before I could enjoy such a meal at such a price again, I put my assumptions about the thoughts of others to one side. I entered Café Kör.

Yes. They recognised me. Did they think I was a weirdo? No! Were they grateful that I paid them the ultimate compliment of repeat custom? Of course.
Be careful that your assumptions of what "other people" are thinking don't hold you back.

My new friend will now be much more willing to dine alone in future. And the knock on effect of tackling something she'd previously deemed "impossible"? Massively increased confidence. Are you brave enough?
Treat yourself. Go out for dinner for one and enjoy every moment. The confidence rewards will be massive.

A couple of months ago, I wrote here about my decision to take part in a charity swimming challenge. I've always considered myself a non-swimmer.  I'd never worn goggles or a swimming cap, and was more or less phobic about putting my face in the water.  I'd only got over that incredible fear by snorkelling in Galapagos last year. 
 
22 miles swimming in 12 weeks. 
1416 laps of my local pool.
What's more - they wanted us to post #swimhat selfies...  Could anything be less flattering?!

Still, I need a challenge.  And this was certainly going to be a challenge.
​
So, with my rather sedate, head-above-the-water breast stroke, I signed up with the increased motivation of knowing that I'd raise some money to help those with spinal cord injuries. 

You can read more of the story in my forthcoming "Confidence Within" book, which I hope to publish before the end of the year.  

​Drop me an email if you'd like to know when it's available. 

The short version is...

In the end, it wasn't the end.  I taught myself to swim a little bit more every day.

 I plunged myself in London's Olympic Swimming Pool, where I had to teach myself all over again.  Mastering 50 meters without stopping to turn was quite the challenge.
 
I even ended up being able to swim like a semi-normal person with my head underwater, co-ordinated breathing and all sorts of previously unimaginable feats.  

I won't say that I learned to love swimming.  But I did learn to love the way it made me feel.
Knowing that each morning I'd ticked off a part of my to do list before breakfast, helped myself get fitter and helped raise money for people with life-changing injuries was very motivating.  

It built my confidence in the pool. And it built my confidence out of the pool.  If I could "swim the channel", I could surely master other things I'd previously thought impossible.  

So I kept swimming. 

Less than 10 weeks later, I've swum the equivalent of getting to France and back - over 44 miles.
Over 2800 lengths of my pool.
And, I have raised over £800 for charity, thanks to the kind donations of friends, family and strangers.
​
So what's all this got to do with your confidence, you might be asking?

As I've been swimming, I've had a lot of time to think. Alongside this, I've been working on my Confidence Within book, and coaching people to improve their confidence in their day-to-day lives.  Three things stand out, that you can do, today.

I still have a few private coaching/worskshop slots available this year, but I'm now focussing on finishing my Confidence Within e-book and taking bookings for next year.  Do get in touch if you want some more help, or to be added to the mailing list when the book comes out. Or follow me on Twitter. 
Stay Confident! Be Your Most Awesome You.  And read how I celebrated success on my wine blog. 

As I'm heavily involved with the wine trade, I'm sometimes jokingly asked if I help people get confidence by giving them "Dutch Courage" - confidence in liquid form.  Today, though, I was a bit surprised to see "Confiance" (the French word for confidence) on sale in liquid form on London's Oxford Street.

A new range of perfumes by Valeur Absolue, proposes to give you the "Confidence Without" if you've not got the Confidence Within.  For the princely sum of £59 (or £79 if you want more), you are promised "Confiance.... Once seduced by a spray of this perfume, self-confidence will be evident. A reassurance in oneself that radiates a positive aura, that's even stronger with the addition of other oligo-elements and extract of Immortelle, chosen for its ability to release beta-endorphines, the happiness molecules".  

​What?  Seriously?  One spray and we'll be confident and happier?  I had to smell this stuff.  Actually, I didn't like it.  Maybe that's because I have enough confidence? Or maybe just that it was really heavy. They also promise sensuality, serenity, harmony and other joys.

I'm not here to discuss whether it's right to retail the hope of confidence in a bottle. Isn't that what the entire cosmetics industry is based on? They sell us hope and that hope gives us confidence.  Men are not immune.  Men are sold all kinds of potions and perfumes, marketed with film star images, just like women.  We are all being sold the idea that we're not good enough, just as we are.

I was intrigued, though, by the use of semi-precious mineral stones in the bottle.  The claim: "Encapsulated carnelian gem stones, symbol of confidence, provides the visible sign of the brilliant richness of this perfume."  

I wanted to find out if this stone was, indeed, a confidence aid.  I searched a few sites (e.g. https://crystal-cure.com/carnelian.html and http://www.soularenergy.com/gemstones.htm) and could find no specific reference to confidence, though, http://meanings.crystalsandjewelry.com/carnelian did claim it as a symbol of creativity, individuality and courage. They called it the Actor's Stone, and would sell you a protection necklacefor $30...  On the other hand https://www.energymuse.com/about-gemstones claim "Wearing or carrying Carnelian enhances vitality and will provide you with the confidence needed to approach new projects and dreams. It is a wonderful stone to wear on a job interview, as it brings good luck and opportunity, awakening your hidden talents within."

I couldn't find any peer-reviewed research that proves wearing Carnelian makes you more confident. or successful.  

As I do have a friend who sells such gemstones for a living, (Carnelian bracelet at a much more reasonable £2.99) however, I won't mock the spirit.  

The question remains, can we buy confidence?  Whether it's fragrance, cosmetics, or designer labels, billions are spent every year in the hope that these things will make us feel better or become someone we aspire to be. 
I remain a little conflicted by this.  I'd love to think that we can all develop the inner confidence that renders all of this meaningless. As a pragmatist, I also realise that it takes time to build this level of confidence, and I also realise that despite being a highly confident person, I still wear make-up and get my roots done.  Is it for me, or for you?  It's irrelevant.  

The point is, if something makes you feel confident, then use it.  Props are good.  I recall a former work colleague who always wore a red jacket for presentations because it made her feel powerful and in charge.  If I'm giving a workshop, I won't turn up without make-up on.  And it's okay.  The key is to find the things that will make you feel more confident for that job interview/first date/parent-teacher meeting.  As long as that something isn't a glass of wine, or your childhood comfort blanket.

Look in your wardrobe for the killer outfit that makes you feel strong and powerful and don't be afraid to use it.  Buy another one.  But don't let it stop your search for the inner confidence that comes from knowing that you actually are good enough, just as you are.  You are. And that's #confidencewithin

It's been a while.  I've been having an amazing year so far, writing freelance for a wine company, travelling to China, Hong Kong, Macau, South Korea, France, Spain and Switzerland (where I was really pleased to teach 2 confidence workshops).  
Summer is now over, and it's time to face the unknown again.  

I'm without contract.  I'm not sure where my next Confidence Workshops will be held.  And I've spent the bulk of my savings.  It would be easy to panic.  Instead, I'm doing something to push the limits of my own confidence.

The Aspire Charity supports people with Spinal Injury (for which there is currently no cure) to live more independent lives.   I'm taking on the challenge to swim 22 miles in my local pool to raise at least £500 for the charity.  I'd love it if you'd donate. Please text HHPT67 £3 (or the amount you want to give) to 70070, or visit my JustGiving site below.

So why is this such a big deal for my confidence?
Many years ago, as a young child trying to learn to swim in my local pool, one of the "cool kids" decided it would really be fun to push me under water and scare me half to death.  I was very lucky. My dad was there to see me floundering and rescue me.  I immediately suffered from a loss of confidence and had no desire to ever go near a swimming pool again.  By the time I left high school, I could barely manage to swim a length of the pool.   In fact, I swum always by the edge, where I could grab for the wall if I got splashed.  Fortunately, times have changed. 

Finally, in my 20s, a boyfriend had the patience to help me master the basics of breast stroke. I got to the stage where I could manage a few lengths.  I've never been what you'd call a swimmer, and my local pool has always been a total mystery to me.   I've had some injuries this year, and haven't been enjoying as much of my usual exercise (dancing) as I'd like.  So I've become quite unfit - and yes - with all the travel fun, overweight too.  

The idea of signing up to go swimming before breakfast several times a week is alien to a self-confessed night owl.   
We all need a challenge in life, and I think this is something I can do.  I know I will feel better for the regular exercise, and hopefully, when I achieve the challenge, I'll feel amazing.  And if I can raise a decent amount for the charity, it's a triple whammy.  

Consider setting your own personal challenge.  Going out of your comfort zone on a regular basis is one of the key ways to grow your #ConfidenceWithin.  
 
You can do it. 

I'm determined to do this.  I'd love to hear your personal stories of how you've grown your own confidence.  Please submit them below or contact me about producing a guest blog.

I'm re-blogging this incredible article here because there is simply no need for me to re-write it. But men, I want you to believe that you are beautiful too!

I've never dated a guy with 6 pack abs and that has been just fine.

In today's society, women AND men are under pressure like never before to confirm to an unattainable, air-brushed beauty standard.

And yet, 99.9% of us will never meet the standard. And that's ok.

• A boob job will not make you happier.

• Waxing will not improve your sex life.

• Losing weight (if you're unhealthily overweight) may be good for you, but it won't make you a better friend, a better mum or dad, or better at your job.

• Getting your roots done might give you a boost, but it's likely 98% of the people you see daily won't notice.

I'm not going to go so far as to say it's not important to be comfortable in your own skin.

Sure, take care of what you've got. I'm all for grooming.

But never think the latest Botox, handbag or pair of shoes will make you a better you.

You are good enough and beautiful just as you are.

Enjoy it!

I'm re blogging this incredible article here because there is simply no need for me to re write it. But men, I want you to believe that you are beautiful too!

I've never dated a guy with 6 pack abs and that has been just fine.

In today's society, women AND men are under pressure like never before to confirm to an unattainable, air-brushed beauty standard.

And yet, 99.9% of us will never meet the standard. And that's ok.

A boob job will not make you happier.

Waxing will not improve your sex life.

Losing weight (if you're unhealthily overweight) may be good for you, but it won't make you a better friend, a better mum or dad, or better at your job.

Getting your roots done might give you a boost, but it's likely 98% of the people you see daily won't notice.

I'm not going to go so far as to say it's not important to be comfortable in your own skin. Sure, take care of what you've got. I'm all for grooming.

But never think the latest Botox, handbag or pair of shoes will make you a better you.

You are good enough and beautiful just as you are.

Enjoy it!

https://lifeisrozie.wordpress.com/2015/03/08/are-you-beautiful-i-asked-100-men-what-physical-beauty-is-and-the-results-shocked-me/

A short blog published and written entirely on an iPhone before my first cup of coffee - I rock even if there are typos

In case you need telling again, you are worth investing in.

Confidence is key - whether it's going through the dark spot just before the dawn, or deciding to take a new direction.

Having faith that you know what's right for you comes from valuing yourself and your own opinions.

Do whatever you need to stay inspired and on track to achieving your dreams.

For daily inspiration, check our Facebook page

Can it really be February?  I'm sorry that I haven't made time for blogging here so far in 2015 and hope that my regular followers have entered the new year fired up and ready to be the best they can be.

Today I had the pleasure of delivering a short course to a group of people in the process of establishing their small businesses.  Some already had some success with paying clients, others were at a more conceptual stage.  All were incredible people, investing in themselves, and their futures.  It's okay to lack confidence when setting out on a new venture.  Fear of failure can be an intense barrier to progress.  These guys have made the commitment and I take my hat off to them.  I hope they got as much out of today as I did, developing goals and action plans to boost their confidence and their businesses.  
We sometimes forget when we feel unsure about ourselves that we might be inspiring others.  My favourite slide from today was this one.

It's sometimes quite empowering to realise that almost everyone has feelings of self doubt from time to time - especially when you're about to enter into a negotiation with them.  They may feel just as unsure as you do. Use that.

What I loved today was seeing the difference that really small changes can make.  Delivering your pitch standing up (even if you're on the phone) can make all the difference.  What it really comes down to is doing something every day that reminds you that you're a valuable person who is on the right track.  Even when you have set-backs, it's not the end of the story.  Take note of all you've achieved and talk to yourself positively.  

Worrying and fretting serves no useful purpose,  and it robs you of the energy to make progress with the things that really matter.

Try this simple exercise.

• Write down your three biggest worries right now.
  
• Apply the flow chart above.
  
• Write down an action you're prepared to take now on any of the worries
  
• Take the action

• Rip up the piece of paper with the worries on it and don't think about them again
  

Take a look at the list below, and remember, failure is not the opposite of success, it's a step on the journey to success.
Good luck everyone!  Stay confident.

Normally I'd just re post this in the inspiration section, but I wanted to add a few words.

How much of what we think about what others see in us is actually what we see in ourselves?

Stop being your own worst critic and start believing in your own brilliance.

Need help? Just listen.

http://929nin.com/what-your-husband-really-thinks-of-you/